i can’t wait until i’m not a PCV anymore and i can tell you all about our comically idiotic and highly secretive threat level phraseology (yes, it’s worse than the color swatch scale that W initiated).
it works itself into jokes so often that anyone who spent much time around us would figure it out in about ten seconds, but for now, it is actually for our own safety in a country that censors and monitors everything, and just sentenced two journalists to life in prison because they couldn’t prove that they weren’t terrorists any more than the state could prove they were. fortunately for you, i have enough pop culture knowledge to recreate what it might be like when the shit goes down…
say peace corps endor becomes trapped in a violent overthrow of the evil galactic empire when the rebel alliance enlists the help of the southern ewok tribes in a plot to destroy the headquarters: one (fully operational!) deathStar 2.0. meanwhile, i’m off in some god-forsaken swamp with a house elf and the ghost of a brittish guy in a bathrobe teaching me how to pull an x-wing out of the mud using mind power, all the while none the wiser of the impending threat (ok, am i the only one who is a little bit concerned with how closely the horn of africa parallels return of the jedi?).
so to alert me of the danger, and get me on the next millennium falcon out of there, lando calrissian sends me a hologram communiqué via R2D2, saying simply “colt 45 works every time, luke… every time.”
and that’s when i know… they blew up alderaan, and i need to get my ass back to cloud city.
now you know, and we can move on…
****
watch it, buster: return of the jedi
if you don’t know what it’s about then you clearly didn’t read the post, and have been living under a rock for the last 30 years. at this speed i don’t know if we’ll be able to pull out in time!
this is wholly inaccurate and misleading. furthermore,
disapproval noted. furthermore, go on…