first time i left my cat, noci, alone and went out of town he was probably only a month old, max.
when i got back he had clawed and chewed everything he could get his little paws on, most especially my poster of SBC park, which i found bit, shredded, and dangling by a fiber from a single tack.
but the majority of the poster was intact, so i pinned it up again, and chalked the incident up to a fussy kitten.
the second time i left noci home alone i returned to find he had not made such a mess as before, but again the SBC park poster had been accosted. this time rendering it beyond classification as “battle wounded”, “survivor”, or “it’s got character”.
i took it down, and tucked it into my bookshelf, thinking i might crop out the center and at least salvage some bit of it later.
about a week ago, noci was having some digestive issues, and he didn’t seem too interested in getting all the way to the litter box to deal with them.
he seemed to just want to tuck himself away in some nook and be miserable.
he managed to get himself curled up on the aforementioned poster, and it wasn’t long before i heard plopping and smelled something foul.
noci had crapped all over my poster.
what was i to do?
give it a proper burial?
i don’t have a shovel, and our entire compound has been paved.
i was left with but two options, burn it with the trash, or throw it down the shint bet.
down the shint bet it went.
perhaps it would have been better to burn it with the trash, because now i realize that every time someone uses that hole, they are literally pissing all over the giants.
lucky for me we have two holes in our shint bet, so, as far as i’m concerned, the one that leads down to that lovely aerial view of the stadium by the bay is forever closed.
the other day, alex told me she saw noci hanging out in the shint bet at night.
i wonder… was he holding vigil, or relishing his plot, and laughing maniacally?
my little noci is a diabolical dogers fan, and an evil genius.
i wonder if this has anything to do with the giants appalling start to the season…
****
the reincarnation of tommy lasorda. or am i just wishing tommy lasorda was dead?
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stay tuned for our next episode:
in the land of tea and honey, you gotta get it while you can.
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reading assignment: the princess bride : william goldman
it’s as though woody allen wrote don quixote. it’s rare that a book makes me laugh out loud. even more rare when it makes me laugh so hard i have to put the book down to wipe the tears from my face, and when you find a book that does that on almost every page, you know it’s a keeper. this is that book. don’t be fooled when you can only find the abridged “good parts” version, that’s part of the joke.
